How I failed at the Bulletproof diet in under 26 hours, and you can too

Book Review
Headstrong: The Bulletproof Plan to Activate Untapped Brain Energy to Work
By: David Asprey, creator of all this Bulletproof stuff

I inadvertently listened to David Asprey's guest appearance on James Altucher's podcast a few weeks back, where he was talking about his new book, Headstrong.

Asprey is a Silicon Valley investor and a successful entrepreneur, so when he touted that his new diet + bio-hacks allegedly improve the performance of Silicon Valley's most successful tech peeps, I immediately ordered everything I needed from his website to indulge.

I also ordered and read his new book, which I read in record speed, and I was super pumped to follow all of his advice. I was determined to have the best, most powerful, most awesome brain power ever.

This topic may seem irrelevant to software product management, but Bulletproof is all the rage in Silicon Valley, and supposedly everyone who is anyone is tech is doing it.
Also, better brain power = better product manager, right?

Here's how it went for me.

Day 1: 

7:35am: I drink Bulletproof coffee (it's basically french press coffee blended with butter and special-super-brain-juice that Asprey sells on his website). 
According to Asprey, I won't be hungry until 2pm!
8:45am: I text my husband "Hey! I'm actually not really hungry!"   "It must be working," he replies. 
9:15am: I just have a small piece of a chocolate bar on my desk. 
9:23am: I might just have another small piece. 
9:28am: I would seriously eat more chocolate if I hadn't already eaten the entire bar.
9:29am: I realize I have consumed about 1000 calories and it's not even 9:30am.
10:30am: All I can think about is lunch. When is that? 3.5 hours from now? Jesus h Christ.
11:30am: I eat my designated lunch. I don't cheat. I mean, for lunch.
12:30pm: Trip to grocery store. Need more chocolate. 
5:00pm: I eat my designated dinner. I don't cheat. I mean, for dinner. I am hungry. Very hungry. 

Day 2: 

7:35am: I drink my Bulletproof coffee. It really is pretty tasty!
8:45am: OK. No chocolate today. Seriously. No chocolate, fat kid.
9:14am: Donut delivery! 

And that's how I failed at Bulletproof in under 26 hours, and you can too.